“Live Simply, So Others Can Simply Live”

By Michael Newberry

My name is Michael Newberry. I am going to be a senior next semester at Texas A&M University. I grew up with Danny and consider him to be one of my best friends. We talk about once a week just to catch up and see how things are going, but from time to time our conversations get a bit more serious. After the last conversation we had, Danny thought it would be a good idea for me to share just a few things I like to keep in mind throughout my day that help keep me on track.  This is my first blog so please bear with me.

Let me first start off by saying that I would not consider anything I am about to say advice. That would infer that I actually know what I am talking about and am some sort of expert on the topic. These are simply a few things I often think about that help get me through the day and keep me focused on the person I want to be. They work well for me; hopefully they will have some positive effect on you as well. Let me also point out that everything I am going to talk about is simply a mash up of all my favorite quotes and things I have heard over the years that my mind has held onto and made into one huge lifestyle. I wish I kept track of who said what and where all the information came from so I could give the proper people credit. Just know that I’m not coming up with this on my own.

I am currently 22 years old and about to graduate with a Petroleum Engineering degree from Texas A&M.  As of now, my plan is to start my career with an oil and gas company and simply see what happens after that. Do I want to work as an engineer for the rest of my life? I have no idea, and I’m perfectly fine with that. This leads me to my first point. As we near our last couple years of college, I feel that it hits people pretty hard that it is time we start figuring out what we want to do with our lives.  I believe it is perfectly fine to have no idea what you want to do or what you want to be. What really matters is truly knowing WHO you want to be.   What I mean by that is you have to decide what kind of man/woman you want to be, and what kind of life you wish to lead.

Like I mentioned already, I am not sure if I am going to be an engineer my whole life.  What I am sure of is that no matter what it is I’m doing, I’m going to work as hard as I possibly can. I am going to treat every person I meet with the upmost respect and sincerity. I am going to take something positive away from every experience in life and grow as a person because of it. I am going to do these things simply because it is WHO I choose to be. Once you have figured that part out I believe the rest will take care of itself.

The next point I wish to touch on is directly linked to this “WHO” you choose to be in the previous paragraph. My old roommate has a tattoo on his back that reads “Be true to yourself”, and for the longest time I wondered what that meant to me. You have now already taken care of the “yourself” part of this statement by choosing the type of person you want to be. Now comes the more difficult part, “Being True” to that person at all times throughout your life. Life is hard sometimes. Bad things will happen in your life that have no logical explanation. Friends will fail you. Loved ones will be lost. The person YOU CHOOSE to be will be tested again and again. I believe that “Being true to yourself” means that no matter what happens in your life you remain that person you wish to be. If you have decided to treat everyone you meet with upmost respect and sincerity, then you do it REGARDLESS if they return the favor. If someone hurts you or lets you down of course it is much easier to be mad and return the hostility. I mean IT IS the golden rule after all right? Treat others how you wish to be treated? But you can’t. You respect them none the less because YOU choose to. Because that is WHO you are. You don’t do it for them, you do it for you. If you decide that you are going to work hard in every aspect of your life, then that’s what you do. NO EXCUSES. Whether it be in school, at a job, or in the weight room, you give it your all. Because you have decided that WHO you are is a hard worker. If you are slacking off all the time then you aren’t being true to yourself. Now don’t get me wrong, nobody is perfect. We all have our off days and will fail at this from time to time.  But it is important that we continuously strive to be better.

The next thing I would like to talk about is time. Time goes right along with working hard at everything you do. If you are in the gym and you aren’t giving it your all, then you are simply wasting your time. You need to go into the gym knowing that you are going to hurt. Knowing that you are going to be exhausted by the end of your workout. Knowing that you made the most of the time that you were given. Every successful person understands that time is a precious resource that you can never get back. Once the 24 hours is up, that day is done and is part of the past.  We must make the most of it. This is the SINGLE life that we are given, are you going to waste it? One of my favorite quotes by Ralph Emerson describes this idea perfectly, “I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it for I shall not pass this way again.” You can feel the urgency of his statement. He understood that his time was limited and was determined to make the most of it. I believe we take the time we have been given for granted far too often.  Wake up each day and say aloud, “Today is a great day to be alive, there is so much potential for today.” I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s a friendly reminder to make the most of each day.

This blog is already getting a little lengthy and I’m worried Danny won’t allow me back, so I will leave you with only one more thought. While it is important to make the most of the time we are given, it is also equally important to not get too caught up in it. I consider this to be my biggest flaw. I am constantly worried about things that I need to get done and mistakes that I made in the past. I forget to enjoy the moment at hand, which is what really matters. There are a ton of quotes and sayings about living in the present but I have to stick with another one by Ralph Emerson.  “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” While it is important to make the most of each day, we can’t allow ourselves to constantly think about missed opportunities in the past and worry about things that lie ahead in the future. If you sit and actually pay attention for a moment, you will realize how often your mind is worried about something. Whether it is a test coming up for school, a project you need to finish up for work, or a simple errand you have to run, our minds are always semi-distracted from the present.  If we could focus our mind completely on the task at hand, with no worry of what lies ahead and no thought of what’s in the past, it is crazy to think of what we could actually accomplish. I believe the key is to find a good balance between the two. Of course you have to think ahead and manage your time wisely so you can accomplish everything that needs to be done, but don’t forget to enjoy the current moment as well. I feel like we all get so caught up in this CYCLE we call life where our bodies are just constantly in motion doing the same thing over and over day after day. Wake up, eat breakfast, work, eat lunch, more work, eat dinner, bedtime, REPEAT. People get so caught up in SURVIVING life that they forget to LIVE IT. I read a quote somewhere that said, “I was dying to graduate high school so that I could go to college, I was dying to graduate college so I could get my first job, I was dying to finish my job so that I could retire, now I am just dying…..” We get so caught up in all the things we need to do to survive, and before you know it our lives are over. So take care of what needs to be done, but make sure you have some fun during the process.

These are just a few SIMPLE ideas I like to keep in mind throughout my life. I like to think of life in the simplest way possible. There will be more than enough complications throughout our lives that we will have to worry about so why sweat the small stuff? Simply decide what kind of person you want to be, be true to yourself, make the most of the time you have been given, and most importantly live in the present and enjoy each new day.

A Woman With Confidence (Guest Post)

My name is Doris Ann High. I am a junior at Oklahoma State University, and love every minute of the college experience. I was so excited when Danny asked me to do a guest post for College Body because I had the PERFECT idea of what to write about!

I am just a regular college girl that loves living the college life! I love hanging with friends, going to parties, flirting with boys, and everything else that comes with the college lifestyle. However, I do feel like I have something figured out that many of my peers do not. I seem to be a lot more confident than many of my friends and acquaintances. I never have and negative “self-talk”, I never feel uncomfortable in situations with boys, and anytime somebody says something negative to/about me I never lose sleep over it. I don’t think I’m better than anybody else, but I am DEFINITELY very secure and comfortable with whom I am.

I have not always been this confident in myself. When I was a sophomore in high school my grandmother died, and it was the most tragic event that has ever happened in my life. I was raised by my grandparents, so I have always looked up to both of them as my role models, and for guidance in life. My grandmother was a very special lady. There is no doubt in my mind that I am the way I am today because of all she has taught me. I looked up to her in so many ways. When she passed my self-esteem hit an all-time low. I began think negative thought after negative thought to myself. I thought I was ugly. I thought that there was nothing special about me. I was completely depressed. I grew apart from many of my friends, and I became very negative about life.

Then, one Friday night I was alone in my room just reflecting on all the sudden changes that had gone on in my life, and something just clicked. I am not sure exactly what happened, but I knew that I did not like how I was living and I had to do something about it. On that day I made a conscious decision to change how I thought about myself and about life in general. I was tired of being depressed, and looking at myself in the mirror thinking I was ugly. I decided that for now on I would wake up every day and tell myself that I was beautiful, and there was something very special about me.

Confidence is NOT just a switch you can turn on. Confidence is something that takes practice. So no, I didn’t just decide I was going change that night, and woke up in the morning a completely different person. I just made a decision that night to practice being confident and believing in myself.

It is AMAZING how my life has changed since I made that decision. The more I told myself all these positive affirmations the more things went my way! Boys began to approach me, I began making more and more friends, and I began to feel happy again like I was before my grandmother passed.

I now go on dates all the time, constantly meet new people, and I am enjoying every single day of this beautiful life! I am constantly asked how I always stay so positive and confident, so that is exactly what I wanted to share with all of College Body’s followers! So here are my four tips to change your life and become confident. I hope these tips can help you change your life as I did mine.

1) Fake It Til You Make It- As I said before, being confident is not an overnight success type thing. It is a long process that takes A LOT of practice. It is not a difficult task to wake up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror and say “Damn I look sexy today.” It DOES NOT matter if you truly believe it or not. This is the very first step. It is amazing how after time of repeating the same things day-in and day-out can make you truly begin to believe them. And once you believe them other people will follow your lead, and believe them as well! I know this sounds voodoo-ish, but I swear it works!

2) Put Yourself Out There- Get your ass up and meet new people. Whenever I go out I have ONE thing on my mind: Meet new people! My goal every night I go out is to make AT LEAST three new friends. I do this because it puts me out of my comfort zone. The only way for us to grow is to step outside your little comfort circle! The “meeting three people” goal is just one of the strategies that I use. Maybe for you it is to join a club, talk to that cute girl/guy from class, or sit by a new person at lunch. Just do things that make you uncomfortable, and soon these “uncomfortable situations” become A PART of your comfort zone.

3) Confidence Verse Cockiness- There is nothing sexier, more attractive, or more appealing than somebody with confidence. I remember there was this extremely good looking guy that I was ALL into. But when we started talking I sensed a tremendous lack of confidence and insecurity. Why would I want to be around somebody whom I had to constantly reassure that he was good looking, smart, funny, or whatever. HOWEVER, you cannot take this stuff over the top and become arrogant. What is the difference between the two? “Cockiness” is really just a cover for insecurity. Those who talk about themselves ALL THE TIME are some of the worst individuals to spend time with, and we all know somebody like this. These people do not truly believe the things they say about themselves which is why they are constantly trying to “convince” you of their greatness. Confidence is something within you that you KNOW you have (you know how interesting, special, unique, etc you are, so you do not feel the need to tell everybody). That is why you HEAR arrogant individuals, but FEEL confident individuals.

4) Embrace Rejection- Rejection happens to EVERYONE. Well, at least those with big enough balls to put themselves out there. I have been rejected many times before, and I it sucks. Nobody wakes up and says I really want to be rejected today. This goes back to that tip of “putting yourself out there. Those who do will most certainly get rejected, but it is important to see each rejection of failure as a learning opportunity. If somebody rejects you it is because of something going on with them, and has nothing to do with you. Do not let the fear of rejection or failure allow you to miss out on experiences in life. I would rather go be rejected than have regrets, or saying “what if.”

These four steps have completely changed my life. I try to incorporate these four things every single day. I hope you have found them useful, and use them in your own life! Because I promise having confidence will take your life to places you never thought it could go.

How and Why to Get Better Sleep.

I have had conversation after conversation with people talking about sleep.  People tell me all the time “I’m cool as long as I get 3-4 hours of sleep.” This BLOWS my mind because I know that if I came off 3-4 hours of sleep I would be crushing pizzas, not working out, not studying, not talking to anybody, and watching movies all day. So I did some research, and talked to some sleep experts to see how important sleep actually is to our health, and how to increase the quality of sleep when we do actually get to bed.

In college, I understand it is tough to get the optimal 7-9 hours of sleep recommended by health professionals. Most of us are chronic procrastinators which causes us to pull all-nighters every once in awhile. Personally, I am not a huge pull-an-all-nighter person. I figure I’ll probably do better on the test is I can keep my eyes open rather than stuff more info into my brain late at night. My lack of sleep comes on Friday and Saturday (and maybe an occasional Thursday) when the bars and clubs are live.  Some of you can relate I am sure..

Importance of Sleep

Think of your body and mind as a battery. You need to recharge that shit! Sleep is a hormonal reset button (or your charger). When you “recharge” your mind and body with good, quality sleep you reduce the stress hormone cortisol which leads to less hunger, less cravings, and more energy throughout the day.

A study published online at the Public Library of science shows the correlation between sleep and hormones that control appetite. This was a study of 1,024 people, and their sleep and eating habits. People who slept less than 7-8 hours throughout the night showed a significant increase in appetite. These same people who slept less tended to weight more than the individuals that got more sleep.

Positives of Sleep:

• Increased energy and motivation
• Decreased hunger and cravings
• You’re definitely better looking (you know how when you come off a rough night of sleep people let you know that you look like you you had a rough night of sleep? Then you think “Yeah, I know, I was there asshole”)
• Increased mood
• Increased Productivity
• Increased Sex drive (#nice)

Negatives of NOT Getting a Sufficient Amount Sleep

• You get fat
• You look rough.. No offense..
• You have an increased appetite
• You don’t want to do anything
• If somebody speaks to you want to deck them in the face for no reason

Why You Can’t Sleep

Some of you may get angry and say “Look bro, I want to sleep. I just CAN”T!!” That is understandable. There is nothing worse than rolling around in bed for hours, or waking up at 4:00am and not being able to fall asleep.

Let me try to help you understand why. Usually an inability to sleep has to do with an imbalance in blood sugar. For example, let’s say you eat dinner at 7pm, and you plan on going to bed early because you feel exhausted from a long day. However, come 10:00, 11:00, & 12:00 o’clock you feel wide awake! Why? When you go for that extended period of time without eating your blood sugar levels drop. To combat this, your body releases stress hormones (adrenalin, noradrenaline, and cortisol) to raise your blood sugar back up. This causes your mind to feel alert and wide awake.

Something else that stimulates this response of your stress hormones is light. Yeah dude, light. So when you are zoning out at night by watching TV or surfing the web you are steadily increasing those same stress hormones to keep your brain alert and awake.

“Sooo How Do I Sleep Better?”

Remember, we are all different, so you may have to do a little experimentation to figure out what works best for you.

• IF you are the type that stays up at night here is what you do; Eat a little bit of carbohydrate before bed. This should spike your blood sugar to help you fall asleep.
• IF you are the type who wakes up frequently or wakes up at 4am here is what you should do; Eat a little protein &  fiber before bed. Protein stabilizes blood sugar for a longer period of time helping you stay asleep at night
• Keep the lights low: I know it’s tempting to watch TV or surf the web to “calm down” before bed, but here is what you should do instead.

1. Dim the lights, or light candles
2. Read a book
3. Have sex (the candles set the mood and everything)
4. Do some visualization exercises: Many successful people (Muhammad Ali, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, MLK, Michael Jordan) all say that they saw their success in great detail before it ever happened. Take time to close your eyes and picture vividly the success of your future.
5. Dim the lights on your computer if you must be on Facebook
6. Take a hot shower
7. Study

• Yogi Bedtime Tea: This is a favorite of mine. If you put 4-5 bags in 8 oz of water it is similar to taking a small dose of Xanax. Good for relaxing before bed. You can get this at the grocery store.
•  Magnesium (Glycinate)- This can be found at GNC or Vitamin Shoppe or even Walmart. Taking Magnesium before be is a great natural way to relax your muscles & calm the nervous system.

I always want to hear your comments about my blog posts. Tell me what you do before bed to help relax.

Make Fitness Goals…. And Stick With Them!

 

I get a ton of emails from friends (and strangers) on how lose “get in shape” or “lose weight” or “gain muscle”, so I’ll usually respond with some sort of 8-week program, and some diet tips. However, when I follow up with those same individuals a month later to check their progress the usual answer is “I haven’t started yet.” I don’t get it? Why would people take time out of their day to email me, and then not take advantage of the information I give them?

 

I have found that lifestyle changes are VERY difficult for people. Things like going from an unhealthy to healthy lifestyle, or from a spending money to saving money lifestyle. But why?

 

People, in general, want to be “Perfectionists”, meaning we have an “all-or-nothing” approach to many things in life. In his book, Being Happy, Tal Ben-Shahar goes into great detail of what a Perfectionist is. General beliefs/descriptions of the Perfectionist are: focused on a destination (rather than being present in the process), a fear of failure (resulting in inaction), All-or-Nothing mindset, defensiveness, Faultfinder tendencies (“A faultfinder will find faults even in paradise” -Henry David Thoreau), harsh (on themselves, and others), and tend to be very rigid. Most of us has some sort of Perfectionist in us.

This is why it is so difficult for us to keep our New Year’s resolutions, change our bodies, change our minds, change our spending habits, and all other lifestyle changes. We try to do it all-the-way or not at all.

 

Let’s use this Perfectionist model with fitness. How can you possibly expect to go from never working out and eating fast food everyday, to working out six days per week on a chicken & asparagus diet? It is absurd to think you can do this. It is the same thing as waking up today, and saying  “next week I am going to go do Olympic trial runs.” Olympians train for years and years and years to get where they are! The key to change is small victories. For every small victory you have, pat yourself on the back, and be happy about it! Here are some tips on how to go from not doing ANYTHING to living a healthier, more fit, life.

 

• JUST GO to the gym: Do not set a ridiculous goal of going to the gym 6 days/week for 2 hours/day. Begin with 1-2 days for just thirty minutes each session. For the next 4-6 weeks make it a habit to get your 1-2 days. Write up a workout and just do that same routine for the next 4-6 weeks. After that 4-6 weeks is up (and you succeed!) be happy about it! Congratulate yourself, and then maybe add another day or two.
• ELIMINATE 1-2 things: Look at your current diet, and pick 1-2 things that you can limit, or eliminate for the next 4-6 weeks. If you eat pizza 3 nights/week knock it down to zero or one night per week. If you drink alcohol 4 nights/week knock it down to 1-2 nights per week. An idea for the first foods to look at eliminating are:sugar/starchy carbohydrates (such as cereals, breads, candies, chips, cookies, and cakes), and the combination of fats/carbs (such as pizzas, cheeseburgers, alcohol combined with cheese).
• WRITE DOWN your goals: I am the WORST at writing down my goals and keeping them. However, I wrote down my New Years Resolutions in 2012 for the first time ever. Much to my surprise I am not only still on path with these goals and resolutions, but have already completed some! So write your fitness goals down, and put them somewhere you can see them every single day.
• DON’T get down on yourself: Maybe you are doing wonderful, and are on track to crush your goals, but then one week you drink three nights in a row, eat two large pizzas/day, and don’t make it to the gym. DO NOT get down on yourself. Just make a conscious choice right to get back on the game plan. Sometimes I will have my diet on lock, be killin’ it in the weight room for two weeks strait, and start telling myself that I look sexy when I check myself out in the mirror. But then I hit the movies, eat a large popcorn, and then refill it (kind of gross, I know. I like it to be wet with butter too! Don’t judge me..). When I walk out of the movies I feel sluggish, tired, and bloated. However, rather than getting mad at myself, and picking up a cheeseburger, and going home to watch TV I go do heavy squats and sprints. I am not saying you have to do squats every time you crush an ice cream this is just what works for me. The point is to ease up on yourself a little bit. If you mess up your plan it’s all good just force yourself to get back on it.

Remember! Celebrate your successes, and learn from your failures. This model will not only work for body change, but any major lifestyle change. How do you implement body change?

Three Steps To Get BIG

There are plenty of body building experts, fitness experts, bloggers, and trainers out there and we all have our two cents on everything. For small, scrawny, lanky built guys (like myself) there REALLY is a simple formula to getting big that nobody can really debate with. Many would argue the science of when to eat, what to eat, types of exercises, etc. which is wonderful and what makes this industry so exciting. However, for skinny ass dudes who just want to gain weight quickly, but just can’t,  here is your “Get Big Formula”: EAT + TRAIN HARD + SLEEP = Swole House

EAT: This is the most important factor to gaining weight. You MUST eat, and eat a lot. A lot of us skinny dudes think we eat a ton, but the reality is that if you are not gaining weight then you are simply not eating enough. I like to use an easy-to-follow method that is used in Dr John Berardi’s “Scrawny to Brawny” program. He says your “muscle building meal” should contain:

• 2 Palms (the size of your palm ~30g) of protein: Protein’s are the building blocks of muscle found in things like beef, chicken, pork, fish, eggs, and beans.
• 3 Fists of vegetables (size of your fist = 1 fist… duh): Vegetables are rich in fiber, vitamins, and minerals and are essential to the muscle building meal.
• 1 Fist of starch/fruit/whole grains: These carbohydrates will help build muscle
• 1/4 cup of healthy fats: Our body uses these fats to build cell membranes, increase our natural testosterone levels, and absorb nutrients.

That is ONE meal’s worth of food! It is not easy to eat this much at every meal. Begin by just trying to incorporate one of these meals/day, and try to progress to three over time. Also, you should be eating constantly between these meals! I eat things like peanut butter, nuts, beef jerky, protein bars, apples, cherries and protein shakes when in between meals.

TRAIN HARD: This is step number 2 to getting big. When you are in the gym there is really no need to do things like bicep curls or leg extensions. There are two and ONLY two things you need to be focusing on when training.

1) Use Compound Movements: Squats, Lunges, Rows, Presses, Pull-ups, and things like that are what you need to be doing. At least 80% of your lifts should be compound movements!

2) Progressive Overload: Progressive overload just means every week in the gym you should be doing “a little better/more” every time. For example, if you did 155lbs this week do 160lbs next week. Or if you did 10 reps this week try 11 next week.

This is how simple I would keep your workout, and repeat for the next 8-12 weeks:

Day 1:

• Squats: 4 sets x 8-12 reps
• Dead Lift: 4 sets x 8-12 reps
• Bench Press: 4 sets x 8-12 reps
• T-Bar Rows: 4 sets x 8-12 reps

Day 2:

• Inclined Bench Press: 4 sets x 8-12 reps
• Barbell Lunges: 4 sets x 8-12 reps
• Military Press: 4 sets x 8-12 reps
• Barbell Rows: 4 sets x 8-12 reps

Day 3:

• Squats: 4 sets x 8-12 reps
• Dead Lift: 4 sets x 8-12 reps
• Push Press: 4 sets x 8-12 reps
• T-Bar Rows: 4 sets x 8-12 reps

It is not exciting… or fun.. BUT it works! If you want to work out more than 3 days per week I would do sprints, core work, and isolated movements (like your bicep curls).

SLEEP: You MUST get quality sleep! When you sleep your HGH levels rise which means while you are sleeping you are growing.  Ideally, shoot for 7-9 hours of sleep per night. For some people, they say “I am good to go with just 3-4 of sleep”. Here’s a secret: You’re not. Research repeatedly shows how essential sleep is to human health. So go to bed, fool!

4 Tips on How to Flirt… SUCCESSFULLY

 

A couple days ago I was on the phone with a friend of mine, and I was telling her a story. At one point in my story I said “..so I was just doing my thing and mingling..” Then right then and there she cut me off and said “you mean flirting”. I was kind of taken back like “what the hell do you mean flirting?!”

 

Her explanation was this:

 

“Danny, anybody who knows you KNOWS that you don’t just talk or mingle. Pretty much every conversation you have is in a flirtatious manner.”

 

So I sat back to think about this for a second, and realized she’s freaking right!

I definitely have a very flirty energy about me. Probably because flirting keeps conversations light and easy going. I mean who the hell wants to be in a tense and direct conversation at a party or at the bar or at the gym? So instead of getting defensive, I reflected on what my friend said to me, and began to own the “flirty” label. If you think about it doesn’t every affectionate situation start with fun and light conversation?

 

I do LOVE women, I love interacting with women, I love trying to understand how they think and feel, but does that mean I am trying to “get on” every woman I come in contact with? Absolutely not. I wouldn’t consider myself a “player” or a hook-up expert, but when it comes to having easy-going interactions/conversations with people I definitely would consider myself better than many people.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and I am NO exception, but I would consider human interaction as one of my strengths.

 

 

Sometimes this personality trait can get me into trouble though..

• I have some girls think I am “in love” with them after one interaction. I am being dead serious. After ONE conversation! Ladies, this is not realistic. NEVER leave a conversation with a guy thinking this because chances are you’ll end up disappointed. This is not my intention when approaching you (to get you to fall for me, and then say see ya!).
•  I have also had many dudes who have thought I was interested, and asked for my phone number. I have NOTHING against gay people, so I tell them I am flattered but not interested. However, I REALLY must have a flirty personality towards everybody then, huh?
• It also has brought up some issues in past relationships, as you can probably imagine.

 

I think the word “flirting” has a bad rap though. When I am flirting with a girl it isn’t to hook up, or start a relationship, or even mean I am interested in having anything beyond a friendship. It is just to keep the conversation light, fun, and interesting. What is the alternative? Asking direct, intense, questions like a fucking interview? C’mon now, we ALL are trying to keep things light and fun in social situations.

 

Which brings me to the whole point of this blog. Some people need the following tips when interacting. Many of you have probably hooked up with more people than I have. Cool. Many of you may have had more relationships than I have. Cool. Many of you probably have all this shit already figured out. Cool. HOWEVER, I also like to be an observer. I have just sat back and observed MANY different types of interactions throughout college and high school, and how many people struggle with this… I PERSONALLY have felt wicked uncomfortable just from watching people interact! Some of you definitely need a pen and paper to write the tips I am about to give you down. I am talking to you girls too!

 

As some of you know I am trying to expand College Body from just a health/fitness blog to a complete college lifestyle blog. Along with fitness, relationships are one of my big interests, so I enjoy writing about this stuff too! So here they are, my tips on how to flirt:

 

1. Smile & Laugh: It’s hard to flirt with people who are pissed off at the world, and there is NO bigger turn on than a girl who laughs at my jokes. If a somebody is laughing at the stuff I am saying then I am a lot more likely to stay around and chat.
2. Be a Little Self-deprecating (just a little): If you are telling me how great you are there are 3 things going through my head 1) You’re probably not really that great 2) Shut the hell up & 3) I gotta go. NOW I want to be very specific; do NOT be insecure (saying you are ugly, dumb, etc. just so the other person will say “no you’re not”). When I say self-deprecating I mean if you trip then laugh, if you have a hole in your pants then make a joke, or if you spill your drink make a joke about being clumsy. Humans are interesting individuals. If you try to put your “status” above theirs then they will instantly not like you. However, if you say “Hey, I am human” and just roll with it then you come off as a lot more attractive.
3. Ask Questions: People like to talk about themselves. It can be boring to listen to people talk about themselves though, so ask questions you really want to know. For example, I was visiting a college recently, and legitimately wanted to know what the college life was like at this particular university, so I asked a bunch of questions related to that. She was happy because she got to talk about herself, and I was happy because I was actually interested and learned a few things.
4. No Need For Pick-up Lines, just say “Hi”: This one was hard for me personally figure out because I love that scene from the movie Wedding Crashers  where Owen Wilson approaches Rachel McAdams at the gift table and pretends to be a “gift naming psychic”. If you never have scene the movie he basically is real smooth and funny and he gets the beautiful Rachel McAdams to become interested. Of course if you have that skill then do it, but a lot of us do not. Just walk up and say Hi, and guess what? She’ll (or he’ll) probably say “Hi” back. From there just introduce yourself, and it’s off to the races!

 

Have your own “flirting” strategies? Tips on interacting with people? Leave a comment and let me know.

Number One Medication For Stress/Depression/Anxiety

College can be stressful, nerve racking, full of uncomfortable/awkward situations, generate anxiety and depression. I know this through my own experiences and just by observing other people. I love to just sit back and watch people in certain situations, and how people respond completely different from one another in the exact same circumstances.

We all get stressed/sad/happy/angry from different things and to different degrees. My stress levels don’t really rise that much during finals week or in a social situations, but I get sad/anxious when I think about my ex-girlfriend, or when I have $4.36 in my bank account, or when I eat a big ass pizza. We are all different in what brings our mood down just as we all seek different outlets to make ourselves feel better.

 

Some people smoke, some people drink, some people take anti-depressants (which is becoming way more prevalent unfortunately), some people play games/sports, some people exercise, some people (not a lot of people I know) read, and so on. Some of these are probably healthier outlets than others, but I am not here to judge. How people deal with sadness or anger is their business, and people are going to do what makes them feel good because that is what us humans do; we are pleasure seekers.

I wanted to talk about this because I recently came across some interesting research facts. It has been shown that exercise increases mood BETTER than anti-depressants such as Prozac. How interesting is that?! Pushing around heavy shit or running around actually makes you happier than “happy pills”. Plus, as a bonus, when you are exercising there is no voice talking really fast  that says “side effects may include: increased chance of heart disease, internal bleeding, or possibly death”. I know you know what I am talking about, right? Those medication commercials where they list all the negative side effects at the end of the commercial as quickly as possible with a screen shot of a happy couple walking on the beach. yeah.. maybe that was a dumb joke…

So based on how you are feeling, different types of exercise can cause different types of mood change.

Lifting Weights -> Improved Confidence

Running/Longer Duration Cardio -> Increased Mood (Feeling depressed? Go run a stadium!)

Sprinting/High Intensity -> Decreased Anxiety

Research continues to show these positive results correlated with exercise. I personally swear by this! If I pump massive iron (or lift weights that maybe aren’t so massive) I have a new renowned swag of confidence when leaving the gym. When I start to feel kind of sad I will go do a stadium workout (longer duration cardio), and all of a sudden I will be in a great mood. And when I do sprints I feel very calm and peaceful. It is truly astounding!

For me, it is easy because I love to exercise. A lot of people HATE exercise or “mean” to at the end of the day, but are too tired in the evening from a long day. I get that for many people it isn’t easy to consistently go to the gym, but for those days where you are in a funk use your negative emotions to push hard in the gym or out in a field or in your dorm room. Research has also shown that exercise helps with:

• Cognition: Exercise increases blood flow to brain which helps creativity, problem solving, and smooth talking the hunnies (or guys for you ladies reading this)
• More Adaptive to Stress: Those who exercise are more emotionally stable which can lead to healthier relationships, and cause people to be less likely to “lose it”
• Living Longer
• Prevent Disease: There is NO better drug for ANY disease. Including cancer; people who exercise tend to be less likely to get cancer, and those with cancer who exercise have higher survival rates
• Mood Enhancement: There is no better mood enhancer than exercise.
• Better anti-inflammatory than asprin
• Having Sex: You can mess with all the Viagra you want, but exercise is the BEST thing to do for stronger erections and higher sex drive. Drugs, alcohol, and being overweight are all a bad deal for your sex life.

I hope you guys found these research results as interesting as I did. What kind of exercise do you do? What is your stress free outlet? Leave a comment below 🙂

How to Get Motivated?

The past couple weeks I have been COMPLETELY MIA from my blog. I would pull up my blog page, write one sentence, delete the sentence I just wrote, then go watch ESPN. Don’t get me wrong though I have been VERY busy. I was up in Washington DC for a fitness conference a couple weeks ago, and got to see some cool personal trainers do their thing. I have had a couple friends come into town to visit me. For St Patricks Day I did a “pub crawl” on a party bus (cool, right?). AND most importantly my favorite holiday, March Madness, is going on right now! I was actually at the game where Lehigh upset the #2 seed, Duke (for those of you following the tourny).

I was definitely a Lehigh fan that night

I had a few on #SB2012

 

 

It has been a fun month, but I haven’t done ANYTHING productive. My blog has been nonexistent, I have been eating and drinking a bunch of crap, and my workouts have been like this:

1) Walk into gym

2)Pick weight up off of rack

3) Place weight somewhat near a bench

4) Pick the weight back up, put it back on rack

5) Walk out of gym

TOTAL WORKOUT TIME: 2 minutes & 36 seconds

I know we ALL have rough days or weeks (or in my case, a whole month) where you do not want to do ANYTHING, so how do we get back on track?

It is hard to get back into working hard when you take a time off to be lazy. Here are some of my ideas to getting back on track:

1) Make a “To-Do List” with easily accomplish-able items. So you can cross off the easy things to build up a sense of accomplishment THEN go after the harder stuff. For example this is what my “To-Do List” looks like.

-Take a shower

-Brush Teeth

-Eat breakfast

-Workout

-Write Blog

-….. Shit I REALLY do not want to do

2) Get a NASTY workout. I feel much more ambitious after I break a sweat, so I MADE myself do the workout below. Also, to help you get energized before a workout try a cup of coffee OR a pre-workout shake (5g of BCAA & 2g of  Citrulline Malate mixed with water)

Burpee Chains (with 135lb Barbell): Use Rest-Based Training; Do 1 Rep of each, then 2 reps of each, then 3 reps of each, then 4, then 5 reps. That will be one set. Try to complete 3-5 times! I can only do three sets, then I call it a good day….

Push-up (on barbell)

Bent over row

Dead Lift

Push Press

Squats

3) Just Do it. If you never start something, you can never finish. When I had something I had to do, but didn’t want to do this is what I would do instead: Eat, nap, watch TV, go on a walk, read the news paper, clean the house, eat some more, go to the movies, do laundry, walk around the mall (I don’t even like to shop!), and 1 million other activities.. BUT when I just do it, it only takes an hour instead of 6 days..

These are just a couple of things that work for me. What do you guys do to stay productive? How do you get back on track once you’ve fallen off?

5 Traits A Girl Looks For In A Guy (Guest Post by Tonya Vrba)

A couple weeks ago I blogged about the top 5 qualities a guy looks for in a girl. So it is only fair to provide an opinion from the opposite point of view. However, since I don’t know what it is like to think like a female, I had blogger Tonya Vrba help me out! So here is something for my fellow dudes to think about!

Author Bio: Tonya Vrba is a passionate writer. Her work has been published in newspapers and blogs. She is currently an active writer for Online Dating Sites. Learn more about Tonya and her work at her personal websitetonyavrba.wordpress.com.

Five Qualities Women Find Attractive in Men

It’s an age old question: what do women want? Just like women, men have a constant craving to know what the opposite sex finds attractive. Here are 5 qualities women love to see in men that creates immediate attraction.

1)      A big brilliant smile goes a long way. Smiles tell women many things. If you show your teeth you appear confident. If you add a laugh to the smile we see your happiness. There is nothing like meeting the eyes of a man and seeing his face light up at the sight of you. All those pictures you took with your arms crossed and a frown on your face are fine if you want to be a body guard. If you want to attract a woman, turn that frown upside-down

2)      Protect us. Some may say that a woman needs a strong or muscular man, but that is a flawed idea. It’s not all about the looks; it’s about how safe we feel with you. Any good hearted woman will not judge you on your physical flaws. Instead, we want to know that you are there for us. When we have a bad day, when we get into fights with friends, or when someone is being rude to us in public we want you to come to our rescue. Women want their men to be their hero.

3)      Be a family man. Women want to know that their man has a soft side as well. Listening to how important your mom is to you or watching you play with your nieces and nephews is amazing. Even if a woman doesn’t plan on having a family of her own, the amount of care and devotion a man shows his family is also reflective of the devotion you may show your life partner some day. Being a family man is not always about wanting a family; it’s about the love and compassion to show to the most important people in your life. It’s important to note the term family is used loosely here. If you are not close to your blood relatives, perhaps your friends are your family. The same rules apply.

4)      Honesty is key. Don’t forget this one, guys. Honesty is more than just not cheating on us. We want to be able to talk to you and get your honest answer. If we ask if a pair of jeans looks good on us, tell us the truth. If you’re really not ready to meet our parents yet, then say so. We ask your opinion for a reason.

5)      Take control. Women are strong and we like it that way. We like to make our own decisions and live our life the way we want. That being said, sometimes we need a man to take control. If you bow to a woman’s every whim, we may start to feel less like your lover and more like your caretaker. If there is something you really want to do, then take control and make it happen. Just remember to be respectful of our feelings in the process.

The woman of your dreams will love you for who you are. Don’t freak out about your appearance aside from being healthy. Women are often looking for qualities that define you as an individual. We want to admire you and we want you to be our hero. Be confident in yourself and women will fall at your feet. Don’t forget to smile.

Thanks for hooking up a guest post, Tonya! Do you ladies agree? Leave a comment or send me an email at collegebody.gmail.com

How to Improve Your Confidence

What’s up guys?! I have been MIA, I know, but a lot has been going on!

1) I just finished my Spring Break Program AHHhhhhhh yeeeeaaaa!!

2) I have been studying to get ACSM certified, so I can become a VIP Personal Trainer

AND

3) I FINALLY transferred my blog to my own URl! It’s about time, right?

 

A couple of blogs ago I told you guys how much I like reading about the ladies/dating/relationship stuff, and I wrote my first dating/relationship blog. A lot of you really seemed to relate to it and like it! So here I am to write about something else dealing with dating. Both guys and girls are attracted to confidence. A confident dude/girl just has a certain feel about them that we want to be around, don’t they? Confidence is something you can just feel on somebody. The way they walk, talk, smile, do things, etc. You can just feel it on another person, and it is appealing to you. However, there is a VERY fine line between confidence & arrogance, and us dudes have serious issues on separating the two.

 

 

Chances are, if you feel the need to talk about yourself, it’s going to come off as arrogance, which is really just a cover up for insecurity. Those who can sit, listen, and be genuinely interested in another individual are the confident ones. I mean it makes sense, right? If you can just cool-aid & not feel the internal need to tell somebody all your wonderful qualities that probably means you are comfortable with who you are, so you don’t have to tell anybody else, right?

 

Everybody wants to be MORE confident, but that shit is not easy I get that. So today I am going to hook you up with College Body’s top tips for increasing your confidence.

 

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone: “Practice makes perfect” The more you practice getting out of your comfort zone, the more comfortable you will feel in “uncomfortable” situations, ultimately making you never uncomfortable, which equals more confidence! Does that make sense or not even slightly? This is the hardest one to practice on this list because nobody is down to feel uncomfortable, ESPECIALLY on a college campus. Don’t act like you’ve never met somebody one night at a party (maybe because you’ve had a few drinks?), then saw them on Monday across campus, but you both ignore each other. Just because it is comfortable to not engage in a conversation with them. So every opportunity you get to step out of your zone, do so! If you feel uncomfortable asking questions in class, ask more questions. If you are uncomfortable talking to the opposite sex, talk more. If you are uncomfortable dancing at a party, dance more! Anything that you have to say “I will look/feel stupid”, do it! Good luck 🙂

Act Confidently: This is CRAZY how this method works! Actually walk around and PRETEND to be confident even if you’re not. EVERY single time I teach an exercise class I get so nervous & insecure on the inside, but right before I start to teach I consciously change how I act. I make my voice a little deeper, talk a little more clearly, smile, and change how I walk. I am kind of a “drooped shoulders” walker, but when I walk in I push out my chest and walk with a little swag. The way people respond is INSANE. They say how much the loved the class, and are drawn towards me SO much more than when I am just sitting quietly in all of my school classes. Crazy right? All because I pretend!

Just Know EVERYBODY Is Insecure: This one is something that we ALL forget. EVERYBODY IS INSECURE. Every single person you walk past has their own insecurities & own issues. If you think they are judging you, guess what? They are thinking the SAME THING! Those who realize this will feel a world of weight lifted off their shoulders.

Small signs that give the other person a sense that you are confident or not:

1) How you walk: Walking around with heavy shoulders, eyes facing down, or your steps are unsure are all signs of somebody who is not confident. When you walk know where you are going, and go there with a little swag in your step

2) How you shake hands: What a lot of people don’t know is that BOTH too light of a handshake AND too strong of a handshake show a lack of confidence. If somebody is too heavy they are trying to overcompensate for their insecurity (kind of like the arrogant talking individual), and nobody likes blood flow cut off in their hand anyway.. Something to keep in mind

3) How you talk: Shaky & quiet voices are cues to somebody else that you lack confidence.

 

These are very difficult concepts to grasp. I know it is a difficult thing to overcome the insecurities we have because of the pressure society puts on all of us. There is no switch you’ll be able to hit and all of a sudden you will have these things. This will take PRACTICE & time! However, if you can improve in these areas, you will see your confidence DRASTICALLY improve compared to your peers.

 

What situations make you feel uncomfortable? Let me know! Collegebody@gmail.com.