4 Tips on How to Flirt… SUCCESSFULLY

Posted: April 26, 2012 in Relationships/Dating

 

A couple days ago I was on the phone with a friend of mine, and I was telling her a story. At one point in my story I said “..so I was just doing my thing and mingling..” Then right then and there she cut me off and said “you mean flirting”. I was kind of taken back like “what the hell do you mean flirting?!”

 

Her explanation was this:

 

“Danny, anybody who knows you KNOWS that you don’t just talk or mingle. Pretty much every conversation you have is in a flirtatious manner.”

 

So I sat back to think about this for a second, and realized she’s freaking right!

I definitely have a very flirty energy about me. Probably because flirting keeps conversations light and easy going. I mean who the hell wants to be in a tense and direct conversation at a party or at the bar or at the gym? So instead of getting defensive, I reflected on what my friend said to me, and began to own the “flirty” label. If you think about it doesn’t every affectionate situation start with fun and light conversation?

 

I do LOVE women, I love interacting with women, I love trying to understand how they think and feel, but does that mean I am trying to “get on” every woman I come in contact with? Absolutely not. I wouldn’t consider myself a “player” or a hook-up expert, but when it comes to having easy-going interactions/conversations with people I definitely would consider myself better than many people.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and I am NO exception, but I would consider human interaction as one of my strengths.

 

 

Sometimes this personality trait can get me into trouble though..

  • I have some girls think I am “in love” with them after one interaction. I am being dead serious. After ONE conversation! Ladies, this is not realistic. NEVER leave a conversation with a guy thinking this because chances are you’ll end up disappointed. This is not my intention when approaching you (to get you to fall for me, and then say see ya!).
  •  I have also had many dudes who have thought I was interested, and asked for my phone number. I have NOTHING against gay people, so I tell them I am flattered but not interested. However, I REALLY must have a flirty personality towards everybody then, huh?
  • It also has brought up some issues in past relationships, as you can probably imagine.

 

I think the word “flirting” has a bad rap though. When I am flirting with a girl it isn’t to hook up, or start a relationship, or even mean I am interested in having anything beyond a friendship. It is just to keep the conversation light, fun, and interesting. What is the alternative? Asking direct, intense, questions like a fucking interview? C’mon now, we ALL are trying to keep things light and fun in social situations.

 

Which brings me to the whole point of this blog. Some people need the following tips when interacting. Many of you have probably hooked up with more people than I have. Cool. Many of you may have had more relationships than I have. Cool. Many of you probably have all this shit already figured out. Cool. HOWEVER, I also like to be an observer. I have just sat back and observed MANY different types of interactions throughout college and high school, and how many people struggle with this… I PERSONALLY have felt wicked uncomfortable just from watching people interact! Some of you definitely need a pen and paper to write the tips I am about to give you down. I am talking to you girls too!

 

As some of you know I am trying to expand College Body from just a health/fitness blog to a complete college lifestyle blog. Along with fitness, relationships are one of my big interests, so I enjoy writing about this stuff too! So here they are, my tips on how to flirt:

 

  1. Smile & Laugh: It’s hard to flirt with people who are pissed off at the world, and there is NO bigger turn on than a girl who laughs at my jokes. If a somebody is laughing at the stuff I am saying then I am a lot more likely to stay around and chat.
  2. Be a Little Self-deprecating (just a little): If you are telling me how great you are there are 3 things going through my head 1) You’re probably not really that great 2) Shut the hell up & 3) I gotta go. NOW I want to be very specific; do NOT be insecure (saying you are ugly, dumb, etc. just so the other person will say “no you’re not”). When I say self-deprecating I mean if you trip then laugh, if you have a hole in your pants then make a joke, or if you spill your drink make a joke about being clumsy. Humans are interesting individuals. If you try to put your “status” above theirs then they will instantly not like you. However, if you say “Hey, I am human” and just roll with it then you come off as a lot more attractive.
  3. Ask Questions: People like to talk about themselves. It can be boring to listen to people talk about themselves though, so ask questions you really want to know. For example, I was visiting a college recently, and legitimately wanted to know what the college life was like at this particular university, so I asked a bunch of questions related to that. She was happy because she got to talk about herself, and I was happy because I was actually interested and learned a few things.
  4. No Need For Pick-up Lines, just say “Hi”: This one was hard for me personally figure out because I love that scene from the movie Wedding Crashers  where Owen Wilson approaches Rachel McAdams at the gift table and pretends to be a “gift naming psychic”. If you never have scene the movie he basically is real smooth and funny and he gets the beautiful Rachel McAdams to become interested. Of course if you have that skill then do it, but a lot of us do not. Just walk up and say Hi, and guess what? She’ll (or he’ll) probably say “Hi” back. From there just introduce yourself, and it’s off to the races!

 

Have your own “flirting” strategies? Tips on interacting with people? Leave a comment and let me know.

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